you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize