We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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