everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
