On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
