I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
