Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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