hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
