Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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