love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
