you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
well you can't waste a boner
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize