he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
