Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
