do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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