he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
