If that was your dad, he is hot
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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