i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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