Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
