i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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