you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
