Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ketchup is God's man juice
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
