You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize