so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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