he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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