Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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