But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
