There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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