operation have a gay friend backfired
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
