haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize