forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
