In the future we'll all be gay
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize