I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
