summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
