one two three fourrrrnication!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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