Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
