apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
