on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
