I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
