I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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