No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
