so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
