grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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