I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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