i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
