DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
