guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
