This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
