you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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