She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
