Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
