I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
