I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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