Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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