im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
