in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
