you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
