oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
