you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
