hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
