The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
