She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
