Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
