3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
