I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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