I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im holly from the hills drunk
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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