I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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