Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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