yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
