It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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